Harry Potter: 10 Funniest Quotes From Chamber Of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets sees the famous trio return for another testing year at Hogwarts. Although it’s not the funniest movie in the franchise, it still has its humorous moments that balance out the somewhat dark tone.

The second installment in the franchise follows Harry and his friends trying to get to the bottom of the attacks on several muggle-born students. Like every Harry Potter movie, the serious moments are leveled out by some hilarious moments and quotes that fans remember to this day.

Hagrid Judges Lockhart’s Work

“Broken? There’s No Bones Left!”

After bending his arm backward, Lockhart tries to convince everyone that he’s fixed it by claiming the bones aren’t broken. That’s when Hagrid comes out with this one-liner that gives the scene that comedic edge as he says what everyone is thinking.

The Curious Mr. Weasley

“Now, Harry. You Must Know All About Muggles. Tell Me, What Exactly Is The Function Of A Rubber Duck?”

Chamber of Secrets is Arthur Weasley’s first appearance in the movies and he makes quite the impression. It is made clear from his first introduction that he has a fascination with muggles.

When Arthur returns home and finds out that his sons took his flying car to rescue Harry, he is excited and wants to know how it went. Realizing Molly is furious with them, he backtracks and tries to change the subject. This prompts him to ask Harry about the function of a rubber duck, and Harry’s reaction speaks for everyone.

Ron Knows He’s In Trouble

“Dad’s Gonna Kill Me.”

When Ron and Harry can’t get through the barrier to the train, they use Arthur’s enchanted car as a means of transport to Hogwarts – without permission. Obviously, it doesn’t go to plan and the car ends up crashing into the Whomping Willow and then drives off on its own.

After seeing how angry a Weasley parent can get, it’s no surprise that Ron believed his dad would kill him. Ron’s delivery of the line is great here and it’s a bit surprising since Arthur is the less strict of the Weasley parents.

Self-Aware Hagrid

“Mad And Hairy? You Wouldn’t Be Talkin’ About Me Now Would Ya?”

When Ron makes a sarcastic comment about whether Hagrid’s been setting anything mad and hairy loose around the castle lately, what he doesn’t realize is that Hagrid is standing right behind him and overhears.

When Hagrid asks if they were talking about him, the three try and cover it up by giving a very unconvincing no and the scene goes from funny to awkward in a matter of seconds. Hagrid is one of the funniest characters and in his defense, mad and hairy is quite an accurate way of describing him so it’s easy to see the confusion.

Ron Points Out The Obvious

“Look At Your Tail!”

Hermione comes up with the idea to make Polyjuice Potion, but she needs the hairs of other students to complete it. What Hermione doesn’t realize is that she pulled a cat hair off Millicent Bulstrode’s robe instead of one of her actual hairs, causing her to transform into a cat.

If the fact that Hermione was now a cat wasn’t entertaining enough, the amusement on both Harry and Ron’s faces when they see her adds to the hilarity of a situation as it is clearly meant to be a serious one. Though thinking about it, Ron’s quip about her tail is kind of mean.

Ron Has A Good Point

“Honestly, Professor Snape, I Think It Did More Damage To Us!”

It’s brave of any student to try and justify breaking to rules to a teacher, let alone Ron to Professor Snape. When Harry and Ron crash the flying car into the Whomping Willow, it’s no surprise that Snape is furious.

When Snape tells them that the tree has been on the school grounds for many years, Ron tries to calm the situation and explain that it did more harm to them as they were lucky to survive. When Ron says this, it’s almost like he might get some sympathy from it, but instead, Snape angrily silences him.

Snape Actually Saves Harry

“We’ll Be Sending Potter To The Hospital Wing In A Matchbox.”

Ron’s wand was responsible for a few causalities in the movie, most notably causing him to eat slugs after a spell intended for Malfoy rebounded. When Lockhart starts a dueling club to help them defend themselves, he chooses Harry and Ron to duel.

It’s thought that by now, Ron would realize he probably shouldn’t be using his wand, however, he looks more than happy to try and duel. Snape then points out that Ron’s wand will likely cause devastation and Harry ending up in a matchbox isn’t an ideal end to a duel.

Neville Asks The Important Questions

“Why’s It Always Me?”

Neville Longbottom is without a doubt one of the most beloved and underrated characters in the Harry Potter movies. Starting as a shy student, he transforms into one of the bravest characters of the franchise.

In the earlier films does his best to try and stay out of trouble, although often, bad luck seems to follow him. When a group of Cornish pixies is let loose, Neville finds himself strung up to the light by his robe. Probably one of his most iconic lines, poor Neville utters this quote, and fans can’t help but laugh because it truly always seems to be him.

Ron’s Greatest Fear

“Why Spiders? Why Can’t It Be Follow The Butterflies?”

For someone that has a deep fear of spiders, Ron is forced to spend a lot of time with them in this film. When Hagrid is taken to Azkaban for reopening the Chamber of Secrets, he gives Harry and Ron a message before he leaves that will help them clear his name.

When Ron realizes once more that he has to go near spiders, his voice almost breaks when he asks why he can’t follow the butterflies. Fans can’t help but laugh that once again he is put in a situation that involves his worst fear.

Molly Lays Down The Law

“Well, You Best Hope I Don’t Put Bars On Your Window, Ronald Weasley!”

When the Weasley boys steal Arthur’s flying car to rescue Harry from the Dursleys in the middle of the night, Molly is less than best pleased when they return. When Ron tries to justify what they did by telling his mum they kept bars on Harry’s windows, Molly replies with this hilarious quote, threatening to do the same thing to him.

This scene is made even better by the change in Molly’s voice as she goes from yelling at her kids, to a gentle tone when stating how pleased she is to see Harry, then back to yelling again.