Seinfeld: Jerry’s Girlfriends, Ranked

Over the course of 9 seasons, Jerry Seinfeld definitely goes on a lot of dates. We're ranking his girlfriends from worst to best

When you’re playing a single man trying to make it as a comic in New York, you’re bound to date a few people. As Seinfeld grew in popularity, so too did the caliber of guest stars, and many of the actresses playing Jerry’s love interests are faces that we recognize today. According to the website Kramer’s Apartment, the comedian dated a whopping 66 women over the show’s 180 episodes.

Some of the women on this list went on to more memorable roles, from Amanda Peet to Marcia Cross, just to name a few. Here are the top 10 of Jerry Seinfeld’s girlfriends, ranked.

10 Jenna

Appearing in the episode “The Pothole,” Jenna is nearly as big a germaphobe as Jerry is. The two get together swimmingly until Jerry accidentally drops her toothbrush into the toilet. But before he could tell her, she’s brushing her teeth!

Somehow, he gets past it and Jenna secretly dumps his brush in the toilet. Once they were even, Jerry was able to get over Jenna’s “toilet breath,” until the bowl explodes, leaving Jerry little choice but to break up with her on the spot.

9 Lois

It took six years, but lifelong Superman fan Jerry finally started dating a girl named Lois in “The Race.” It turned out that Lois worked for an old rival of Jerry’s, who challenged him to have the rematch of a race from high school.

Not only is the episode full of references to the Man Of Steel, including John Williams’ iconic theme, but it’s also one of, if not the only time Jerry gives a wink to the camera, letting everyone in on the gag.

8 Meryl

We’ve probably all had that relationship where you and your significant other act like a married couple who are madly in love. Jerry got to do that when he dated Meryl (aka Courteney Cox) in an episode of Seinfeld.

From sharing secrets about bringing food into a diner to calling each other as husband and wife, things seemed to click for this pair. Until Jerry thought it’d be a good idea to share his laundry discount with another woman, that is.

7 Isabel

When you find a woman like video vixen Tawny Kitaen, you don’t balk at the opportunity. While she didn’t dance atop a car, as Isabel, she did get to show off some comedic skills, playing an overacting would-be stage actress in “The Nose Job.”

The episode featured one of the stranger fantasy sequences on the show, with Jerry’s brain and libido playing a chess game with one another to decide whether he can tolerate how annoying Isabel really is.

6 Sharon

Next up we have Sharon, played by Paula Marshall, who has had a slew of bit parts on popular sitcoms over the years. She plays a big role in the popular episode “The Outing.”

Sharon eavesdrops on a silly conversation between George and Jerry and thinks that Jerry and George are lovers. Of course, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” How do you prove to an interviewer that you’re not attracted to men? You offer to date them, if you’re Jerry.

5 Sheila

Not one, but two famous moments happen during “The Soup Nazi.” Besides, the titular character himself, we also got to meet Sheila. Sheila and Jerry were so madly in love (at least this week), that they were just insufferable.

The couple couldn’t figure out which one of them was “Schmoopie” was for crying out loud. Thankfully Jerry came to his senses when the Soup Nazi stops their PDA and decides to choose the soup over the girl.

4 Laura

Marlee Matlin had already won an Academy Award for Children Of A Lesser God by the time she guest-starred on Seinfeld as Laura, the Linewoman. Jerry is instantly smitten with her and tries to get her attention before realizing that she wasn’t being rude, she just happens to be deaf.

Naturally, Kramer understands sign language and George convinces Jerry to let her read lips about what his own girlfriend is saying about him. Unfortunately for Georgie, Laura misunderstood the word “sweep” for “sleep,” between a conversation between Gwen and her friend Todd. George angrily confronted Gwen about it, effectively ruining his relationship.

3 Marla

Marla dated Jerry for two episodes: “The Virgin,” and ‘The Contest.” She was a nice girl, and considering the fact that she was a virgin, probably much too nice for Jerry.

After Jerry convinced her to not be so so grossed out by Elaine’s diaphragm story, they continued to date. But Jerry made the fatal error of telling Marla about the contest, at the most inopportune moments ever. Not only did she practically run away screaming, she declares that Jerry and his friends are “horrible, you’re all horrible.”

2 Sidra

By the time that the Teri Hatcher guest started on the show, she was already a bit of a B-Movie queen, most known for Tango And Cash. She also must have been a thrill for Jerry to cast and work with, considering she was Lois Lane on Lois And Clark.

But with the immense popularity of this show, Hatcher will forever be known as Sidra. After a full episode of Jerry and Elaine debating the validity of Sidra’s chest, she delivers the best ending line of any episode in the series: “They’re real, and they’re spectacular!”

1 Elaine

They dated before the show ever started and they began dating at the end of the second season. They hooked up at least once during the show (“to save the friendship!”) and it’s it plain as day that Jerry and Elaine were tailor-made for one another. That was always part of the show’s charm, too.

While other shows focus on the whole “will they or won’t they?” thing, Seinfeld wasn’t about the unrequited love between Jerry and Elaine. It was just an unspoken feeling between two friends.

Related Articles

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to top button